THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER* *emphasis added.


Guess what?!?!

I GOT MY VERY FIRST COCKROACH!

His name is(was) Paul.

And he is not a normal cockroach.  You see, I believe he is of the American Cockroach variety.  And yes, I was up all night Googleing cockroaches so I now know the difference between and American and German cockroach.  It’s not just their accents.  HAHAHA.

Anyway – American Cockroaches are sometimes referred to as water bugs, and if you google PALMETTO WATER BUG it’ll be awesome.  Or just click on the link, you’ll thank me later!

This type of cockroach is the LARGEST, UGLIEST, AND LAMEST cockroach in all the land.  Imagine me, finally finished cleaning the house and sorting all the bits and pieces out, ready to relax on a Saturday night.  I go into the kitchen, and I see something run away.  But that something is rather large.

And I’m all:Awesome.

Smalldog now notices and he’s all:AWESOME I LOVE THIS GAME!  LET ME FIND PAUL THE COCKROACH!  I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO TO HIM BUT IT’LL BE AWESOME ANYWAY.

So Paul is trying to escape the evil team of me and smalldog, and I’m not about to squish something that size, especially SOMETHING THAT FLIES, THAT IS THAT SIZE, so I do what women in my family have been doing for years.  Grab the nearest spray of whatever.

I sprayed that sucker down with cleaning spray.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PAUL WHO IS LAUGHING NOW.

I honestly can not believe that I 1)didn’t scream; 2)didn’t run away 3)didn’t scream.

But alas, now I have a giant dead cockroach on my kitchen floor and I am too scared to put it in the trash.  Paul is like a silent house guest that isn’t going anywhere.  And may or may not be stuck to the floor with cleaning spray.  Hmm.

Luckily, whenI tried to hunt to see if he had any friends,sad face, it appears he did not.  LOSER PAUL. I’m going to buy traps anyway.  The sucker was running from smalldog’s bowl of food, so I’ll have to make sure smalldog actually eats his food going forward.  Also, I leave the door open to the deck allllll day.  Perhaps I shouldn’t.  It’s one thing dealing with mosquitos, quite another when Paul saunters in.

Another epic day in the life of me.

The floor, wall and shoes aren’t that dirty.  I modified the picture for clarity.  It makes things look dirty.  I promise.

Advertisements

3 Responses to “THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER* *emphasis added.”

  1. your best blog entry EVER!!!!!

  2. FYI – Spray starch works best.

  3. I clicked the link! And now I feel all itchy and wriggly and OMG IS THAT SOMETHING CLIMBING INTO MY EAR…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: